Ok so the election has been called in Ireland and in 3 weeks time will all be over. Amazingly the placards, handshakes, leaflets, canvassers are out in full swing and this is why I, who is not a scholar of politics have to decided to point out how I am thinking of voting this year.
On the bus this morning I went through 3 different voting areas and I knew that due to the amount of posters up along my bus route (the much talked about 145), and an idea came into my head, since all politicians are the same as each other and don't give to flying fucks about the general public, and are more interested in their own pay packets this makes voting quite tough!
Cue trumpet fanfare....
I have a solution use the posters for inspiration.
I will start off in my own constituency, Wicklow.
For the Greens we have
Deirdre De Burca - Her image is a bit soft and also the colours seem unnatural her face has a hint of green going on.
For Labour we have
Liz Mc Manus - All in all labour have done an excellent job in the photography of its members from what I can see the colours of the people seem natural and each candidate is in a very natural looking environment.
Fianna Fail
Dick Roche - As the outgoing minister for the Environment, Heritage and Local Government he really should lose that smarmy look he always seems to have and as for the heavy dose of St Tropez that the Fianna Fail party seem to have adopted for their images, it really does not work for me, more on the orange brigade later.
Joe Behan - This man has not put any posters on lamp posts etc but has billboards all around Bray he looks like a decent character, he avoided the suntan look and lo and behold the colours of his face seems correct, is this the right way to decide how to vote?
Fine Gael
Dunno whats happened here but these guys are obviously pretty bad looking as there are no images at all of them up on lamp posts etc the same applies to the PD's at the time of writing this post
Sinn Fein
John Brady - He again looks like a nice guy, the posters are colour corrected nicely, his image is sharp and he is smiling in a warm way. You never know that smile may make women swoon and vote for him.
So onto the rest of my journey to town. I am going to go party by party here not constituency
Fianna Fail
Barry Andrews - his picture is oompaa loompaish and if thats the sort of quality we are talking about for his printing, he would not get my vote.
Jim O Callaghan - He looks like a criminal enough said
Chris Andrews - Whats with all these Andrews anyhow poor ole Chris he has Jaundice from what I can tell according to his poster.
Fine Gael
Sean Barrett - When I was growing up in Killiney I liked this guy, he seemed like a good man and his picture on the posters seems to be as I remember him so thats good.
Eugene Regan - He seems happy but a bit on the blue side, I mean his photograph has a very light blue cast over it which I find quite cold.
John Bailey - I think this poor candidate looks petrified of the camera and seems to have a face of fear, not that great a quality for going into government.
Lucinda Creighton - She is the cute hottie Fine Gael have put forward in Dublin, so please tell me why plaster loads of orange shit on her face and put her in a countryside environment this makes no sense to me.
The Progressive Democrats
As twentymajor put it these guys are portraying a sense of intellectual beings, so why the hell did you have a flash right up at you face for the pictures. This applies especially for
Fiona O Malley - the picture is mental white so much so I cant tell if I like her or not, she is smiling, I know this due to the fact her lipstick did not over expose.
Liz O Donnell - For such an attractive woman this photo does no justice for her once again a victim to the flash gun or possibly built in flash maybe the PD's went the cheap route.
Labour
Ruari Quinn, Eamonn Gilmore and Oisin Quinn not much to be said that I did not mention above except Labour nailed the opportunity for some good photos, obviously a pro photographer and an excellent print house these guys will get votes from me according to how I am going to vote.
The Greens
Ciaran Cuffe - Ok the one thing I should get off my chest is, Are the posters these guys are using recyclable???? Anyhow back to Ciaran, ah good old Senor Ciaran he has been sunbathing far to much another for the "this is Ireland not Spain" campaign.
Now onto the leaders
Bertie Ahern - He has that lost puppy look in his photo, drawing us in and making us feel sorry for him, well I saw the same look in that interview with Bryan Dobson and I ain't falling for it "Now, the next steps" is the line Fianna Fail are using for this election campaign personally I am hoping its their steps out of government.
Michael Mc Dowell - His image leaves me feeling kinda dirty, spooked out or something he obviously gave out shit to the photographer when he/she tried to put the flash is his face as he ain't overexposed, but he does look evil. Of course the PD's have gone for the threatening line "don't throw it all away" throw what away, my money, my pacifier I am confused, maybe they mean the work of current coalition.... nah
Pat Rabbitte - Silly Name, great photo as all the images from Labour have been. I like Pat, I have met him once or twice and he is a lovely man. Labours Mandate "Ireland can do better with Labour" I don't agree with since I work my tits off already thanks very much there is also no talk of extra pay, do I get time off in lieu or something.
Lastly Enda Kenny - Oh my god, does this man think he is a God or something, there is something dictatorship about the photo love me or else, also it bears no resemblance to the man, this guys has dark hair and chiseled looks so I think photoshop, botox, face surgery or something came into play here. Also I have no idea what lines Fine Gael are going down other then "for a change" better healthcare "for a change", safer streets "for a change" heres my suggestion decent real politicians "for a change" perhaps?
So I know I have left some out but I could not write shorthand on my phone very well of my notes. Anyhow it looks like labour win my vote for their photo prowess although when they call to the door that may change. Lastly my good friend Damien has some tips on those said door canvassers give it a read its well worth it, I also look forward to Insidethemindofanidiots views on this election crap.